


Decorating the Future

by alderations



Series: Peapod McHanzo Week [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Family, Father Figures, IKEA, M/M, Moving In Together, Peapod McHanzo Week, Retirement, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alderations/pseuds/alderations
Summary: If someone had told him a year ago that Genji would actually talk him into retiring, Hanzo would probably have stuck an arrow in their foot.And here he is, in fucking IKEA of all places, preparing to decorate his home with his boyfriend—fiancé—the world’s tackiest cowboy.ft. Torbjörn Lindholm, Ultimate Father Figure





	Decorating the Future

It took two hours to get from Watchpoint: Gibraltar to Seville, or  _ Sevilla,  _ as McCree insistently called it. In those two hours, Hanzo had spoken perhaps twice, and McCree only three or four times; the rest of the drive had been filled entirely by a steady stream of stories about Torbjörn’s uncountable children.

 

Not to say that Hanzo is unhappy with the situation—as McCree pushes around a cart full of mismatched lamps and rugs, Hanzo is still enraptured by the mischief of which Torbjörn’s offspring are capable. He’s met Brigitte, who is supposedly the oldest and most responsible of the Lindholm kids, and based on the scheming glimmer that never leaves her eyes, Hanzo can hardly imagine the entire brood at once.

 

Jesse appears to be less invested in the stories, more concerned with struggling to pick out the clashiest decor he can find. That’s not particularly easy at IKEA, where most of the furnishings are minimalist and somewhat tasteful, and there’s nothing cowboy-themed to be found. Still, somehow, their cart looks like a rainbow was demolished right there in the middle of the superstore. At least their future home is far out in the Spanish countryside, where none of their neighbors will be close enough to openly judge their choices of decoration.

 

Once again, Hanzo suppresses a shiver as he thinks about the tiny cottage that he and Jesse picked out. It’s close enough to the Watchpoint that they’ll be able to visit their friends and help out in an emergency, but not quite so close that Winston will be tempted to keep them on call for missions. If someone had told him a year ago that Genji would actually talk him into retiring, Hanzo would probably have stuck an arrow in their foot.

 

And here he is, in fucking IKEA of all places, preparing to decorate his home with his boyfriend— _ fiancé— _ the world’s tackiest cowboy.

 

There’s only so much that can fit in the back of Jesse’s truck, so once their cart is fully loaded down, Torb guides them to the checkout and moves through with the type of efficiency that only a father of… however many can achieve. It takes twenty minutes just to arrange all of their new furniture, with relative stability, into the truck bed. Then they’re on the road again, Jesse at the wheel and Torbjörn still storytelling, and Hanzo is beginning to feel like he needs a nap.

 

“Ya know,” Torb declares, stopping his own story short, “that loveseat ya got is jus’ the perfect size. You’ll be able to fit a wee little one or two right there between ya.”

 

Jesse and Hanzo fall completely silent, which Torbjörn doesn’t seem to notice as he barrels on. “O’course, you’ll need to get a sturdier bed before ya get around to that. I saw the one already in the house, and it’s not gonna do ya good for long. IKEA has a nice circle bed, very trendy, if that’s your style. Shimada? Seems up your alley.”

 

Hanzo can’t answer, busy as he is with struggling to hide his beet-red face from Torbjörn’s gaze. They really should’ve known that Torb would start planning their family for them as soon as they moved into a house together. Jesse finally answers for him, voice shaking with barely-concealed laughter. “I think Hanzo would enjoy a circle bed, come to think of it. He’s always loved those extra flourishes in the bedroom. Right, darlin’?”

 

The look in Hanzo’s eyes should be enough to kill Jesse then and there, but Jesse McCree is awfully stubborn. “I had yet to consider the best shape of bed for… procreating.”

 

“Ah, it’s more important than you would think!” Torbjörn is enjoying this conversation too much for his own good. “Though, if you don’t plan on makin’ use of it in the near future, I can always send over a few of my own little ones. They’ll make up your mind in no time.”

 

Genuinely, Hanzo cannot tell if he’s being threatened. “Jesse would love to babysit,” he answers through gritted teeth.

 

When Jesse turns back toward him, still mischievous, there’s a sparkle of promise in his eyes that speaks of far more than just embarrassing Hanzo. Just babysitting, maybe, or maybe more.

 

Hanzo finds himself more than ready to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> This is super short and I'm...not happy with it, remotely, but uh I spent the whole fucking day driving to and from IKEA so I didn't have much time to write! My dad is 2 weeks out from foot surgery and just got off crutches and STILL insisted that he had to carry the new bookshelf, because obviously I'm not strong enough. I'm almost as big as him and swam competitively for 12 years. I can carry a fucking bookshelf. It's been a long day.
> 
> I've gotten some really sweet comments on my McHanzo Week fics so far, and y'all continue to make my day every morning when I wake up to see whoever's been reading them! It just makes me so indescribably happy to know that I'm connecting with people in some way. Or providing happiness. Whatever. I love writing every day, dammit, even if I usually... don't.
> 
> as always find me on tumblr [@genderfluidjessemccree!](genderfluidjessemccree.tumblr.com)


End file.
